Why can't I give up sex?

Chow: Why can’t I give up sex?

Old man: Every form of attachment arise out of the failure to detach from the false ego, the false me, the “I”, the “my” and the “me”. In giving up so, you would have attained what we call “satori” or “enlightenment”. But until then, you will remain bound to illusions.

Chow: Is there anything I can do?

Old man: Detachment has got nothing to do with “doing”, it has only got to do with the “right understanding”. You should know this by now.

Chow: How do you mean?

Old man: Just like the fact that you came to the realization that its not only detrimental, but actually futile to be attached to anything or anyone, thus you automatically abstain yourself from being engaged in whatsoever relationships and start losing interest in friends and family. You do so because you “know”. Not because you think you know. You have the experiential wisdom instead of the intellectual. Did it require any effort on your part?

Chow: No… it just happened.

Old man: Exactly. Any form of effort will only bring you further away from detachment. In fact you are just attaching yourself to something else by putting effort.

Chow: And sex?

Old man: Until you acquire the right understanding, it is simply not your time to detach yourself from it.

Chow: So when is my time?

Old man: I do not know.

Chow: Does this mean I’m meant to suffer while waiting for my time to come?

Old man: As the Lord Buddha once mentioned, our karma, determined by our past actions, will decide whatever that unfolds. What will happen, will never fail to happen, no matter how hard you try to prevent it. And what won’t happen, will never happen, no matter how much effort you put into it. You are simply paying your old debts, simply reaping the fruits from which the seeds you sew. And if you sow the seeds of lust, this is what you get. This is the law of nature. Not only you, but everybody suffers until their time arrives.

Chow: But there must be a way to rid myself of the sufferings.

Old man: There is no way. Just like Ramana and Krishnamurti, liberated though they may be, they died painfully of cancer. Pain is definitely inevitable due to their past actions. But the difference between you and them, is that they have realized the futility of reacting to their sufferings thus whatever they experience, they observe, and they observe steadily. That way, no new seeds are sown, and once they are done paying their debts, they pass on into the unknown. Every form of reaction is a new seed sew, and you will have to reap it someday just as long as you do not realize the truth to the universe.

Chow: So are you saying that I do nothing?

Old man: What else can you do?

Chow: I can meditate!

Old man: Is meditating not an action? Is meditating not a reaction to your current situation? You can not meditate. To say that “I can meditate” shows how little you understand about “meditation”. Meditation is a state you be in, it is a state of awareness, just like how the entire life of a buddha is essentially nothing but meditation. To meditate connotes action whereby you are still stuck in the “doing”. To be in meditation connotes non-action, this way you can “be”.

Chow: Nonsense! In that case, then why did the Buddhas invented techniques of meditation?

Old man: As a trap. Because you have been so obsessed with “doing”, it becomes almost impossible to help you realize your nature. In order to slow you down, they will first have to trap you. And since you can only understand “doing”, thus they invent various techniques that involve “doing”, except this time you do nothing. What have you been doing while practicing vipassana?

Chow: I sit around and do nothing.

Old man: Viola!

Chow: So are you saying that I should stop meditating?

Old man: Keep meditating. Just like the great teacher Goenka mentioned, the secret of success lies in the continuity of practice.

Chow: What!? Now you tell me to meditate after telling me that meditating is nothing but a trap?

Old man: A trap it may be. But did you not realize all this while being trapped?

Chow: I did.

Old man: Then what seems to be the problem?