Idle chatter

Chow: Why was the Buddha so against idle chatter?

Old man: Please understand that the Buddha has nothing against anything. He forbids idle chatter simply because he understands that is a trick of the mind.

Chow: What trick is that?

Old man: The mind plays many tricks on you, He understood that and thus came with the precepts.

Chow: Abstain from killing, abstain from sexual misconduct, abstain from stealing, abstain from lying, and abstain from all intoxicants...

Old man: Yes. There are many reasons why a person may be distracted along the path to enlightenment, and the more subtle it is, the harder it is to pick up. The Buddha for one, who was fully enlightened, understood that these are the 5 basic distractions that people are most likely to succumb to.

Chow: And idle chatter? Doesn't seem to be in one of the precepts?

Old man: Idle chatter falls under the "abstain from lying" precept. I'm sure you have engaged in idle conversation... just take a look at how many times you have lied.

Chow thinks hard...

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Someone: Hello Chow how are you doing today?
Chow: Oh I'm good, how about you?
Someone: I'm great! So how was your weekend?
Chow: Its uh... boring.
Someone: Really? what did you do?

Chow: Nothing at all.

(which is totally untrue, because Chow went to the grocery store, studied at home, played some online games, meditate, and loads of other stuff. He just didn't bother talking about it because he didn't wanted to waste time talking about his weekend with someone he hardly knows. So here he made a little lie and said "nothing at all" instead of just telling someone straight in the face that he doesn't feel like telling him anything)

Someone: Oh c'mon, I'm sure you did something. I saw you at the library, what were you doing?

Chow: Oh I was just surfing the internet.

(Again another fallacy because he wasn't surfing the net at all, he was busy studying. But because he didn't want to come across as a "nerd" or a "KIASU" thus he said he was simply surfing the internet.)

Someone: Surfing the internet for what?

Chow: I was playing some online games, watching videos on youtube and such.

(Another lie on top of a lie. He simply wants to project a carefree image to his colleague thus he makes stuff up. He wasn't even on the internet to begin with, how could he have been playing games or watching videos on youtube?)

Someone: Sounds like fun...
Chow: What about you? Hows your weekend?

(He didn't wanted to stay and chat. He never had any intention to perpetuate his idle chatter but he did it anyway because he felt compelled to do so especially after someone had made such an effort to talk to him. He would feel somewhat guilty if he hadn't talk back in a similar fashion and that might come across as rude to the other party and he doesn't want that. So he is reciprocating that mannerism by asking questions like "how are you?"...)

Someone: Oh I went to this place... that place... did this... did that...
Chow: *zones out... wasn't paying any attention at all.*

(Because Chow had never intended to listen, his mind immediately shuts out the conversation. He looks as though he is listening, but he isn't. He looks interested, but he isn't.)

Chow: Sounds interesting.

(No its not.)

Someone: Yeah... anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at lecture okay?
Chow: Sure!

(another fallacy, anybody who knows Chow, knows that he never attends any lecture. He said "sure" because he didn't want to say something like "Um... I'm not going." because he understands that if he said that, he might prolong the conversation with someone asking "why don't you want to go to lecture?". So he lied, again.)

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Chow: You are right old man, I lie all the time. Why?

Old man: Because you want to protect your self image. A lie serves to hide the truth, like a blanket of mist that covers it. If you are lazy, you will lie that you are diligent. If you are ugly, you will lie that you are pretty. If you are angry, you will that you are calm. This is the purpose of a lie. It serves to project a false image of yourself, an image that you would like to believe is virtuous or beautiful. And you do it so subtly that not even you could pick it up. By and by, you start to believe that you are a calm person even though you are boiling with anger... A lie is a very dangerous thing. And you find a thousand lies in one idle chatter.

Chow: So I should always tell the truth?

Old man: What is there to hide?

Chow: That means that anybody can ask me the most intimate questions, and I must answer them straightforwardly, as honest as possible? I think that might be traumatic, don't you think I deserve to keep some information to myself?

Old man: First understand the precept. None of the precepts work without its context. It is not about "not lying" or "always telling the truth"... its simply about not covering the truth, not boosting the ego. It doesn't matter what you say or don't say, just as long you have no intention of hiding yourself from the world.

Chow: So it is the volition and purpose behind the speech that counts.

Old man: Yes.

Chow: But does idle chatter serves any purpose at all in this world?

Old man: In this silly world, it does. But you must be very careful with it. Its power of distraction is very strong and very subtle. Before you know it, you are already engaging in idle chatter, telling a thousand lies to the world about your day, your personality, and everything else that you wish to cover up. It can only serve as a conversation starter... to which you hope that it can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations. Not everybody comes to me like you do, straightforwardly. So sometimes, for the sake of spreading the seed of truth, it is necessary to engage in a little idle chatter. But be aware! Never allow yourself to be carried away.

Chow: I understand now. Thank you.